Camp has begun!

Today is the first day of CampNaNoWriMo. And I came prepared! Okay, so I did not plot beyond a vague idea of where I was going; I did not plan characters beyond a general idea of a main character and a few others. After facing resistance and a lack of inspiration, the day before camp begun, ideas started to flow. My muse gave me enough to get started, but not enough to make me bored.

Yes, I am a 'pantser'. I am winging it. Detailed outlines, character sheets, and research would only bore me. To me, the excitement comes in the exploration, in figuring things out as I go. I have an idea of an ending in mind, but I'm perfectly okay if it ends differently.

Today, as I began writing, without any clear idea of what I was doing, ideas came to me. The story began unfolding itself before my eyes. Plot points clarified themselves. The setting came into focus. Scenes ended naturally and led to new ones. All I had to do was to keep writing. So that's what I'll continue to do this month. Show up, listen hard, write, and see where it takes me. I am so excited after today. I got to 2,320 words effortlessly, a respectable enough word count, and am choosing to stop based on sheer exhaustion. Maybe not every writing day will go this smoothly, but I have to trust that it will work out.

One trick to surviving this month is to embrace terrible writing. I am serious. My sentences are clunky and my paragraphs don't flow. That is for fixing later. My energies are best spent getting the story on paper.

(source)

Another trick that I am using this month is handwriting it. I did NaNoWriMo in November on my laptop, but to be honest, my laptop is too distracting to me. Even if I close out other programs, disable wireless, and have my writing program in full screen mode, I still get antsy and disinterested. I think I am programmed to use my laptop for short bursts of concentration - reading a blog post, checking a website, writing an email - and then switching to something else. Perhaps the internet is too tempting for me so close by. Whatever the reason, the writing doesn't seem to flow.

Whereas, writing in a notebook is something that I have done since I first learned to write. It's how I attempted my first novels at 13 and 14, it is how I have kept my journals to this day. And I find that I can focus much better with just a notebook, for all I can do is write (and doodle occasionally in the margins). It means that my wordcount is always just estimated; however that seems to be the only drawback right now.

I think the important thing is knowing what works for you. So many people write differently. For many people, outlining is a way of life, and handwriting a whole novel is inconceivable. That's okay.

There is a great topic in the NaNo forums titled "Your NaNo Rules". I have found it to be a great discussion. So many people have good ideas about how to write, reward themselves, make sure they stay on track, etc. But these rules stood out the most to me:

Rule #1: Write. Or else.
Rule #2: Rule #1.

When it comes down to it, those are the only rules you need.

So here's to a great June for all writers out there. Hope the writing goes well and you have loads of fun. 

Committing

To Anyone Out There Reading This:

You may have noticed my posts have been few and far between. While I could offer up a myriad of excuses, the truth is that I have not fully committed to this blog, choosing to spend my time elsewhere. I have been dreaming of a fancy blog on wordpress, a catchy domain name, professional layout, and all the works.

However, the truth is that I am just beginning and just starting to find my own voice, and even narrow down my subject matter, and this simple blog is perfect for that. So I will fully commit to writing in this blog consistently. Expect at least one new post a week. I don't dare promise more right now, but hopefully there will be more.

And there's something else I also want to do now. Last November I won NaNoWriMo for the first time. The built-in combination of competition, write-ins, general silliness, guilt trips, and thousands of writers committing to the same thing (and many kicking my ass), was incredibly motivating to me. Lagging near the end, I finally kicked into gear and cranked out the rest, completing the 50,000 words (and conveniently the story as well).

Well: now I am signed up for June Camp NaNoWriMo, which means another 50,000 word novel draft completed during June. My username there is sprites. I will update more on this subject but I just wanted to commit to that in writing now.

There. Two commitments. Now I must follow through. Watch this space.

Now, as it's Mother's Day, I'm off to call my mom.

Signed,

Kathleen

The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

I read this book front to back in one sitting. It is a quick, powerful read. A week later, just to make sure I had the message down, I read it again.

Pressfield's The War of Art has the potential to be life-changing. It is the talk about art and creativity that you've been waiting to hear without realizing it. It is a kick to get going. It is a call to arms...if you're willing.

In The War of Art, Pressfield discusses a powerful repelling force called Resistance. Pressfield calls it out, exposes its many forms, so that now it can be recognized. And once you know what you are dealing with, you can fight it. The second part of the book tells you how, and the last part gets into artistic inspiration.

You may have noticed my updates have been few and far between. I have also not gotten much writing done.

Well, as the excuse is, life happened. (It's true. I picked up a second part time job that left me very little time to do anything. )

However, the real truth is that I fell victim to Resistance.

Resistance is caused by fear, mostly. But it is tricky and had disguised itself. "No one is reading this blog anyway," Resistance said. "You don't know what you are doing," and, "Suppose people DID read it, and didn't like it?" On and on it went.

It also manifested in tv show marathons and compulsive internet usage. I can easily lose hours and hours of time on the internet. I just keep clicking. Ironically, one activity that I do out of resistance is read self-help blogs. Instead of creating or writing every day, I read blog posts on the subject. If I want to win against Resistance, I can indulge in some blog reading, but spend more time actually getting words on the page.

I have been facing Resistance in another area of my life as well. I aim to find work abroad, a goal which terrifies me as much as it excites me. It is time to move on, yet I have found myself paralyzed, unable to make any progress towards my goal.

But that all is about to change, for now I recognize Resistance, and I realize it's not just something I have especially because I'm lazy. It's something that everyone deals with. And it can be defeated a day at a time.

Slowly, I can start living the life I've dreamed of.

(This goes without saying, but the book is strongly recommended.)

Be vulnerable.

(source)

I am shy. It is hard for me to trust others and open up. And for a while it felt that all the people who I opened myself up to, in both romantic relationships and friendships, hurt me, one after the other. The sting became too much. So for months, to protect myself, I closed myself off from basically everyone. I barely said much to anyone, so high were the walls I built around myself. The result  was that I was very much alone. I felt that I was strong because I didn't need anyone. I was independent, a lone girl in a fortress against the entire world.

But I was the opposite of strong. I was weak. I was hiding. I was like a seed, unwilling to sprout or grow.

I was denying myself pain but also happiness. I need friendships and support just as much as everyone else, and I was denying myself that crucial aspect of life.

Thankfully I found new friends who I could talk to and trust. I started dating again. Slowly, I allow myself to open up. Sometimes I will end up hurt, but it is a risk I am willing to take.

For, now I understand that being vulnerable is a strength. Not just in relationships, but in life. If you want your blog to be unique, you must allow yourself to shine through. If you want your art to truly speak to others, you must bleed a little so that we see that you are human. Then people can relate to you. Then your work will mean something. Then it becomes beautiful.

So, I dare you: Be vulnerable. Allow your true self to come through in everything that you do. Take risks every day in order to grow.

Writing is playing

Remember when you were little and you wrote just for fun? When writing was another form of playing? When it naturally flowed from you?

I didn’t, until I found some old notebooks when I was home for Christmas. I have always been writing stories. And when I was 13 and 14, I planned, outlined, wrote and rewrote a still incomplete novel in half a dozen notebooks and binders. I spent a lot of time over my break rereading the pages and smiling. The writing is not too great, but there are some wonderful gems. I even got an idea for a novel to write now.

And from these notebooks I’ve remembered some important lessons about the writing process. 

Brainstorming.

1. Allow it to flow freely.
My scribbling shows little hesitation.

Don't hesitate. Just write. Let it bubble over like a fountain. Write so fast you don't have time to listen to your critic.


2. Have confidence. Believe in your work.

I was very (probably overly) confident in my writing. I had always received positive feedback for my writing and so I believed in myself and thought of myself as a good writer.

Trust in your natural ability. Everyone has the right to write.

3. Treat it as important and be ready to work hard.

I was devoted to my work. I got stuck sometimes, and when I did, instead of stopping, I wrote out my thoughts in stream-of-consciousness. I wrote commands to myself like, “Stop doodling and think!” I poured my effort and energy into my story.

Approach your work with intensity and devotion. 

4. It's play.

I had fun. My writing was full of energy. Nobody was telling me to do this. I didn’t feel I had to. It excited me. One idea lead to another. And I was hooked on the high. I devoted hours and hours to these notebooks, in spite of school, sports, homework. Why? Because I loved it.

Remember how fun writing is and fall in love with your story. 

I admire my enthusiasm and excitement.

5. Have a running movie in your head of your story.

What I remember of this time is that I was completely obsessed with my novel, so much that I dreamed about it and saw reminders of it everywhere. I had a clear picture in my head of the story, like it was a movie playing in my head, over and over and in immense detail. You could easily say that I spent 'too much time' 'daydreaming'. Yet it was necessary. I was creating a world.

The more I thought about the novel, the more I worked on it. Because of my daydreaming, my vision of the novel evolved, and I kept reworking the story. Each time I did, it got a little more focused, a little stronger.

Allow yourself to daydream excessively about your work.

I'd like to thank my 13 and 14 year old self for all of the helpful advice.

I recommend digging through some old boxes and finding some writing you did when you were little, if you can. I bet you'll discover many of the same things I did. When you are writing, try to bring back some of that joy, that confidence, that freshness. Perhaps you, like me, have trouble getting into writing sometimes because you have built up resistance. It's time to peal back the layers of resistance and time. It's time to get back to being imaginative and creative. It's time to write like a kid. 

Permission

I was sitting at a coffee shop struggling through the first rough draft of a novel.

It was early November, and I was sitting with a group of NaNoWriMo writers that took up half of the shop. We were a motley crew of all ages and backgrounds. We looked up from our laptops to discuss our word count, our ADD, our plots or lack thereof. Towards the end of the night as people cleared out, a pretty young woman at the table next to me asked how all of us had known each other. “Oh, NaNoWriMo,” I said, and assuming she had no clue what it was, I started to explain, “It’s an event where people try to write a novel in a month.“

She knew NaNoWriMo, and was amazed that we had been sitting right next to her all this time. She asked me about my novel and how the writing was going. I told her all about it, explaining that my novel was a young adult fantasy. I talked about a part of my novel that was confusing me, and she offered me sound advice that I was impressed by.

Then she talked about how she used to be involved in NaNoWriMo, but she had never been to a write-in before. She went on to tell me, “That’s what I do for a living. Write. I’m a professional writer.”

“Oh, what kind of writing?”

“Fiction,” she said. “Young adult fantasy.”

Just like me.

And I, in my ignorance, my disbelief, said, “So, are you published?” And she told me she was. She told me how she was five days late with her revision deadline for her next book, but every evening she was late, she sent her editor pictures of cute animals to say sorry. 

By this point I had turned into a blushing fangirl, and I asked for her name and the name of her books. She told me (I won’t share it here to protect her privacy) and I rambled about how that was so cool, while she shrugged it off. 

I couldn’t quite believe that I had met someone who was living a life I only dreamed about. A published writer was sitting a few feet from me! She was only a year older than me, lived in my area, haunted the same coffee shops. I was so flustered I couldn’t get any more writing done, so I packed up. We said goodbye to each other and I left.

What had taken place had been even more important than meeting a writer.

 She had discussed my work with me, taking it seriously and offering me advice. She had told me about her struggles with her own work. This young writer, whether she had meant to or not, had given me permission to write. And after our talk, I felt a new resolve and determination for my own writing. 

And so, thank you, nameless author, for the permission. I will work hard on my writing. And someday, I hope to join the ranks of writers like yourself.

But first, I'll start a blog.