Camp has begun!

Today is the first day of CampNaNoWriMo. And I came prepared! Okay, so I did not plot beyond a vague idea of where I was going; I did not plan characters beyond a general idea of a main character and a few others. After facing resistance and a lack of inspiration, the day before camp begun, ideas started to flow. My muse gave me enough to get started, but not enough to make me bored.

Yes, I am a 'pantser'. I am winging it. Detailed outlines, character sheets, and research would only bore me. To me, the excitement comes in the exploration, in figuring things out as I go. I have an idea of an ending in mind, but I'm perfectly okay if it ends differently.

Today, as I began writing, without any clear idea of what I was doing, ideas came to me. The story began unfolding itself before my eyes. Plot points clarified themselves. The setting came into focus. Scenes ended naturally and led to new ones. All I had to do was to keep writing. So that's what I'll continue to do this month. Show up, listen hard, write, and see where it takes me. I am so excited after today. I got to 2,320 words effortlessly, a respectable enough word count, and am choosing to stop based on sheer exhaustion. Maybe not every writing day will go this smoothly, but I have to trust that it will work out.

One trick to surviving this month is to embrace terrible writing. I am serious. My sentences are clunky and my paragraphs don't flow. That is for fixing later. My energies are best spent getting the story on paper.

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Another trick that I am using this month is handwriting it. I did NaNoWriMo in November on my laptop, but to be honest, my laptop is too distracting to me. Even if I close out other programs, disable wireless, and have my writing program in full screen mode, I still get antsy and disinterested. I think I am programmed to use my laptop for short bursts of concentration - reading a blog post, checking a website, writing an email - and then switching to something else. Perhaps the internet is too tempting for me so close by. Whatever the reason, the writing doesn't seem to flow.

Whereas, writing in a notebook is something that I have done since I first learned to write. It's how I attempted my first novels at 13 and 14, it is how I have kept my journals to this day. And I find that I can focus much better with just a notebook, for all I can do is write (and doodle occasionally in the margins). It means that my wordcount is always just estimated; however that seems to be the only drawback right now.

I think the important thing is knowing what works for you. So many people write differently. For many people, outlining is a way of life, and handwriting a whole novel is inconceivable. That's okay.

There is a great topic in the NaNo forums titled "Your NaNo Rules". I have found it to be a great discussion. So many people have good ideas about how to write, reward themselves, make sure they stay on track, etc. But these rules stood out the most to me:

Rule #1: Write. Or else.
Rule #2: Rule #1.

When it comes down to it, those are the only rules you need.

So here's to a great June for all writers out there. Hope the writing goes well and you have loads of fun. 

Not quite a supernova

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I've been feeling bad lately. I feel as though I haven't been progressing as much as I said I would when I started this blog. When I started this, I was so full of optimism I chose the name 'supernova' because I pictured an explosion of growth and creativity. Supernovas can explode at a rate almost 10% of the speed of light, so I thought I would transform into this super productive, creative, perfect person...I thought that I could change so quickly, get so many things done, all while remaining well-rested and well adjusted.

I have been feeling more like a snail than a supernova. So find me at my new blog: september snail.

Just kidding.

 The truth is that I am still working on things that I have already posted about. Like being vulnerable, fighting against resistance, and having good time management. Some days I fail at some or all of these. I have been dwelling on these negatives and feeling bad. However, I am going to work on remembering that I am still a worthwhile and deserving person whether I get everything done or not. I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now, and don't need to compare my progress to someone else's. I am whole and perfect already, I just need to accept and love myself even when I don't meet my own expectations. I will work on being kinder to myself.

So, to make myself feel better, it's time to remember all of the progress I have made since the beginning of the year. So here are some accomplishments:

• For four months I was a nanny to a sweet 1-year-old some mornings while keeping my afternoon job - and both the baby and mother loved me!
• I am currently taking two art classes, one on drawing, the other painting. They are making me more confident in my art skills, plus I'm having fun. I've discovered how much I love painting. I've bought myself some paint and paint sometimes at home. 
• I have read 21 books this year and am in the middle of a few others.
• I have made progress in taking my next step, teaching ESL in a foreign country. 
• I have taken excellent care of myself food-wise, eating mostly home cooked meals I've made myself...fresh fruits and vegetables, beans, grains, cheese. I am very conscientious about getting my vitamins and protein. A few years ago, I had no clue how to cook, and didn't care less about nutrition. 
• I also am pretty active! I live in a city and have a job that requires me to be active. I walk several miles a day without trying. I do yoga sometimes as well.
• I've started learning about photography.
• I have been good about cleaning my room once a week (I have a history of being a slob so this is considerable progress).
• I've been smart about my money, saving when I can and not buying things I don't need. 

When I reframe it that way, I've actually done pretty well these last few months. So, while things aren't perfect right now, I'll close my eyes, take several deep breaths, and tell myself: I forgive myself. I deeply love and accept myself. 

Then, I'll get some sleep.

Committing

To Anyone Out There Reading This:

You may have noticed my posts have been few and far between. While I could offer up a myriad of excuses, the truth is that I have not fully committed to this blog, choosing to spend my time elsewhere. I have been dreaming of a fancy blog on wordpress, a catchy domain name, professional layout, and all the works.

However, the truth is that I am just beginning and just starting to find my own voice, and even narrow down my subject matter, and this simple blog is perfect for that. So I will fully commit to writing in this blog consistently. Expect at least one new post a week. I don't dare promise more right now, but hopefully there will be more.

And there's something else I also want to do now. Last November I won NaNoWriMo for the first time. The built-in combination of competition, write-ins, general silliness, guilt trips, and thousands of writers committing to the same thing (and many kicking my ass), was incredibly motivating to me. Lagging near the end, I finally kicked into gear and cranked out the rest, completing the 50,000 words (and conveniently the story as well).

Well: now I am signed up for June Camp NaNoWriMo, which means another 50,000 word novel draft completed during June. My username there is sprites. I will update more on this subject but I just wanted to commit to that in writing now.

There. Two commitments. Now I must follow through. Watch this space.

Now, as it's Mother's Day, I'm off to call my mom.

Signed,

Kathleen

Permission

I was sitting at a coffee shop struggling through the first rough draft of a novel.

It was early November, and I was sitting with a group of NaNoWriMo writers that took up half of the shop. We were a motley crew of all ages and backgrounds. We looked up from our laptops to discuss our word count, our ADD, our plots or lack thereof. Towards the end of the night as people cleared out, a pretty young woman at the table next to me asked how all of us had known each other. “Oh, NaNoWriMo,” I said, and assuming she had no clue what it was, I started to explain, “It’s an event where people try to write a novel in a month.“

She knew NaNoWriMo, and was amazed that we had been sitting right next to her all this time. She asked me about my novel and how the writing was going. I told her all about it, explaining that my novel was a young adult fantasy. I talked about a part of my novel that was confusing me, and she offered me sound advice that I was impressed by.

Then she talked about how she used to be involved in NaNoWriMo, but she had never been to a write-in before. She went on to tell me, “That’s what I do for a living. Write. I’m a professional writer.”

“Oh, what kind of writing?”

“Fiction,” she said. “Young adult fantasy.”

Just like me.

And I, in my ignorance, my disbelief, said, “So, are you published?” And she told me she was. She told me how she was five days late with her revision deadline for her next book, but every evening she was late, she sent her editor pictures of cute animals to say sorry. 

By this point I had turned into a blushing fangirl, and I asked for her name and the name of her books. She told me (I won’t share it here to protect her privacy) and I rambled about how that was so cool, while she shrugged it off. 

I couldn’t quite believe that I had met someone who was living a life I only dreamed about. A published writer was sitting a few feet from me! She was only a year older than me, lived in my area, haunted the same coffee shops. I was so flustered I couldn’t get any more writing done, so I packed up. We said goodbye to each other and I left.

What had taken place had been even more important than meeting a writer.

 She had discussed my work with me, taking it seriously and offering me advice. She had told me about her struggles with her own work. This young writer, whether she had meant to or not, had given me permission to write. And after our talk, I felt a new resolve and determination for my own writing. 

And so, thank you, nameless author, for the permission. I will work hard on my writing. And someday, I hope to join the ranks of writers like yourself.

But first, I'll start a blog.